For over two decades, Reyna practiced law mostly as a criminal appellate attorney in a public defender's office, then started a second career at 50. Reyna has now published 3 novels! Today we talk about her book, “My Name is Layla” a short fiction for tweens and teens dealing with dyslexia, learning differences, and challenge of growing up.
Please purchase Reyna's book by clicking the link below.
https://www.amazon.com/dp/B08D1ZM4FW/ref=sr_1_2?dchild=1&keywords=reyna+marder+gentin&qid=1594844511&sr=8-2
Special Family Connection® 2021
Music is written, performed and produced by MikeWellsMusic.net for Special Family Connection®
For over two decades, Reyna practiced law mostly as a criminal appellate attorney in a public defender's office, then started a second career at 50. Reyna has now published 3 novels! Today we talk about her book, “My Name is Layla” a short fiction for tweens and teens dealing with dyslexia, learning differences, and challenge of growing up.
Please purchase Reyna's book by clicking the link below.
https://www.amazon.com/dp/B08D1ZM4FW/ref=sr_1_2?dchild=1&keywords=reyna+marder+gentin&qid=1594844511&sr=8-2
Special Family Connection® 2021
Music is written, performed and produced by MikeWellsMusic.net for Special Family Connection®
Hi, this is Debbie Wells with special family connection. And today I am with a very special guest and author Rena Genten. And I cannot tell you how excited I am to have you here. I admire author. I admire anyone who can put their thoughts down on paper and then get people to read them. And you know what, we're hoping that we're doing a lot more people to read what you have written and authored today. So I guess what I'll do is go ahead and put the ball in your court and have you go ahead and explain all about yourself, your life and, and what got you to be an author and write that you've written. Sure. Thank you so much for having me mm-hmm<affirmative> um, so it's kind of been a crazy journey. I started out as an attorney. I practiced law for many, many years, um, and I actually worked in a, uh, public defender's office doing criminal appeals. So it's a very particular kind of law. Um, and it was very challenging, um, very much involved with telling people stories. And, um, if you think about it, especially on appeal, um, where you're not seeing live witnesses, you're really just presenting your story to a panel of judges. The biggest part is trying to show that the person that you're fighting for, not necessarily that they're innocent, although certainly if you have a case where somebody's innocent, that's very compelling<laugh>, but a lot of the time it's just about showing that there's something redeemable about them. Yes. That there's something about them that you might not know from the surface that you might not know from just looking at the facts of the crime mm-hmm<affirmative>. Um, and I spent many, many years doing that almost 20 years. Um, and it was incredibly rewarding work, but it also always posed the question of what what's really going on here. Right. Because you don't really ever know the story behind what happened, you know, a little bit from your client, you know, a little bit about what, and you know, a lot about what happened at the time of the crime and you maybe know a little bit about before and a little bit about after, but you really don't know the backstory. There's always a mountain under the tip of the iceberg. Yeah, for sure. Yeah. And you know, a person doesn't walk into a convenience store and Rob somebody without there being a whole lot of stuff going on in the background. That's right. Um,<affirmative>. And so I, I decided after a while that it just, it got too hard to tell the story without really knowing the story. And, um, I left that job and I, I did not know really what I was gonna do with my time. Uh, and a friend of mine said that she was taking a writing class at a local college and that I should come with her. And I thought it was crazy. I had been writing professional all my life, um, but certainly nothing creative. And she said, no, just come, you'll see, it's gonna be fun. And she told me it was a memoir class. And I said, oh God, I'm, I am not going to a memoir class because, you know, I think of memoirs as people that have led, you know, really, truly remarkable lives that somebody would wanna sit down and read, you know, 400 pages about their life. Um, right. You know, and I, I have a very good life. I might have a blessed life, but I don't, you know, I don't view myself as having a remarkable life like that. You don't feel yourself as having a memoir life? No, definitely not. Um, um, but she was totally right when I went, um, I learned something which is, I think fantastic. And if any, if you have writing aspirations or anybody, you know, memoir is really about isolating the small moments of your life and the relationships in your life and trying to write them up in a way that will be to somebody else mm-hmm<affirmative>. And that will get at the emotions and get at the heart of what the connection is. You had to another person or that moment. And, um, and it was fantastic. I took this class for a year. I wrote a lot of short memoir pieces and, you know, people in memoir class, they write about what's important to them. Yes. But they, they often write about loss. Um, you know, whatever it is, loss of a loved one loss of their identity loss, there's all sorts of losses. People don't generally sign up for memoir and write about like the happiest day in my life. Like, I mean, you, you can, they're, they're doing it just to work through something, possibly work through something. Yeah. And, and I did that too. And I wrote, I wrote about my mother. I had lost my mother, not that long before I took the class. And I wrote about her and I wrote about a friend that had passed away. And a lot of these little pieces kind of started to form in my head. And I thought maybe I could turn this into something longer. Um, so when the class was over, I didn't wanna write it. Um, memoir, cuz it's not, that's not me, but I fictionalized all these different aspects of what had been important to me in my life, including my job, which I had left, you know, right before. Um, and my first book was a romantic, legal, thriller, um, which very much kind of tracked, um, a case that I had worked on and various personalities in the office. And I got to weave in my mother and you know, all sorts of things. That's cool. Um, it was really cool. Um, but the book I wanted to talk to you about today is a book called my name is Layla. Uh, it's a book for kids it's, um, sort of ages 10 and up. Uh, although adults have been very much, um, to it as well. And it's a book about a young teen who has, um, trouble reading. And in fact she has dyslexia, although she doesn't know that she has dyslexia. Um, she just knows that she feels much more capable than her grades show in school. And um, when the book starts, she's going into eighth grade, she's really drew reading it and she gets to school and she finds that she has a new English teacher and the new English teacher doesn't have any preconceived notions about her. She's, she's worried that, you know, when she normally goes to school people, the teachers think that she's a daydreamer or they think that she's lazy. Um, and they she's well behaved. So there's, you know, she gets a, she gets away with a lot, even though she's not really getting away with anything. Um, but she, you know, she feels, she feels in her heart that there's more, um, that she could be accomplishing. Um, and this teacher actually kind of, he gets it and he starts to kind of probe that and she actually finds it terrifying because once somebody expects something of you yes. Kind of feel like you wanna live up to it and you don't, you don't want to fail. Um, so she kind of is going along and I don't, I don't wanna ruin the book in case anybody hopefully wants to read it, but it, um, she's kind of got these parent-teacher conferences hanging over her head because she knows as soon as she gets to that, her mom's gonna realize once again, that she's not doing well. And she, she takes this desperate action, which, um, you know, kind of borders on some juvenile delinquency and, um, but it's really a cry for help and yes, and then you see the people start to rally around her because really they've been there all, all along, you know, her, her mother, uh, who's a single mom and who's working a lot and maybe is not quite as focused on Layla's education as she could be. Um, you know, starts to come through for her. And even her dad who's, who's had no part of the family, um, eventually steps up and, and provides a key point to her, which is that he's had problems reading that he, you know, because dyslexia has a huge genetic yes. So he was able to relate with her a little bit, um, and to, and to provide some very useful information to the people evaluating her, her for the help that she needed. Um, so, you know, it's, it's about dyslexia and it's not about dyslexia. It's very much about the family structure and about friendship and about calling on people for support when you need support and preconceived notions about people and expectations and how it can hold you back, how you multiply. It sounds like it really has a, um, real life spin to it because I know a lot of people with dyslexia, my cousin has dyslexia. And, um, the teachers in the schools at that time, he grew up in the sixties. Dyslexia was pretty much undiagnosed at that time. Right? So he had a lot of, uh, acting out a lot of things that he did out of pure frustration, cuz he knew he was much smarter than they were treating him, but yet he just couldn't read what was put in front of him. And then one year he got a teacher who just started reading all the texts to him and she figured it out that he simply could not read what was put in front of and he just began to Excel. Um, right. And then of course his parents had to accept the fact that he had a disability and that was hard for them. They, they didn't want to accept that they had a special needs child, although it's very common, very common thing. So prevalent, it's something like 20% of the population. It's amazing exactly. It is. I, I even had a friend who was colorblind completely colorblind could only see him black and white. So he was missing a lot of things in school and he wasn't diagnosed until he was about 25 years old. Right. And but now we have people that are more trained in the classrooms and able to spot these, these issues early on. I will pick up a copy of that and read it. Especially since it, it really has a lot of information. It centers on relationships and definitely centers on relationships. Our special needs, kids need strong, uh, courageous relationships in their lives. They need parents who are there to intervene for them and speak out for them and, and fight for their needs. And, and then also friends, I mean she has, and friends in the book, she has a very good friend who, in a way, if you wanna say she masked what was going on because she was such a good friend, she would always choose Layla to be partners with when they would do projects. She would, you know, maybe Layla would have the ideas, but Lizza would execute and you know, that kind of thing, maybe so kind of covered the issue a little bit, kind of covered the issue a little bit. But on the other hand, what a, what a wonderful friend to have, right. To have somebody that really has your back and, and, and loves you for who you are, loves you for, who you are. And, and in the book when Layla does this bad choice that she makes, you know, the friend really steps in for her and you know, it's good and bad. Like it, it, it doesn't, you know, in the end, everybody has to come clean, but it's, you know, it was, you know, important. And, and she has a, there's another, there's a little tiny bit of a romance in the book. She has a little crush on the boy across the street. And it turns out when she goes to get evaluated for her reading, she finds that he's in the special learning center because he's got an executive functioning deficit. Well, and you know, another kind of thing that you might, you might miss, you might get, you might not understand that it's something that can actually be addressed as opposed to just assuming that the person is disorganized and can't keep his assignments straight and makes a big mess of his locker. Like yes, all those things, but it comes from something that's and it can be worked on that's and it can be helped. And, and it can also be very much accepted. I mean, he's he in the book, you know, he's like, listen, this is who I am, you know, and I, when I get help and, you know, okay, so my locker is not what someone else's locker looks like, who cares, you know, he teaches her to accept yourself very much. Yes. That skill. So is there any, was there anybody who was an inspiration for this? Did you meet somebody or hear a story or about somebody who inspired you to write this? I did a little bit. I mean, I, I had, I was taking a workshop, um, about writing for kids and I was trying to figure out what I wanted to write. And in my head I knew I wanted to do something where the main character would get so frustrated that she would do something, you know, bordering on the illegal and<laugh>. Um, and that came from you, you know, I had practiced for a number of years in family court, representing kids on juvenile delinquency cases. And it always fascinated me. Um, so I knew I wanted to be something really frustrating mm-hmm<affirmative> um, and I kind of wanted it to be something I don't wanna say hidden, but, but in a way, like something you'd have to reach out and be kind to a person because you're kind generally not because you see that they, you know, there's all sorts of people that need your help, but it's just who you are, it's who you are and it's not, and it's not necessarily something that you would see, like you can't, you can't see, see from the outside when someone is dyslexic, you know, you can see when someone is in a wheelchair and maybe needs your help, but mm-hmm,<affirmative> everybody around. You may need your help. And, and they do because everybody's got something right. That's right. Sometimes they're dealing with, you know, a mental illness that you can't see, or sometimes they're dealing with a parent that has a chronic illness, or sometimes they're dealing with financial strife. You, you just have no idea<laugh>. So if your attitude is, I'm just gonna be kind because that's who I am. And because everybody has something you're in a much better position. Absolutely. Now, as an attorney, you probably saw possibly a lot of kids who acted out and got into trouble, but could have been prevented if somebody had been paying attention. For sure. I mean, a lot of, you know, a lot of the families are complicated families. Yes. They're families that don't necessarily have role models. Um, their families that perhaps are not valuing being the kids in school. Um, you know, and then sometimes no stress. Yeah, no structure, you know, it could, it could just be a personality thing. It could just be somebody that, you know, needs to act out in a certain way because that's who they are. But, um, but there were often of course family issues and school and, and often school issues. And that's one of the things also with dyslexia is it does get noticed more and yes than girls because the boys often act out and the girls manage to hold it together.<laugh> so, you know, and the boys, in some ways get the services that the girls don't because they're the squeaky wheel, you know, in, in ways that are inappropriate for a school environment. And which is a really good thing to point out to parents. If you're listening to this podcast and you notice your daughter is struggling a little bit, maybe there's something underlying that she's hiding, um, an area of her life that she's struggling when it, and it just might come down to some sort of a, a learning disability that's hiding in the shadows and, and you need to step up and talk to her about it, or get together with a teacher and see if they've notice the same thing and, and get that intervention going early on. For sure. I mean, the teachers, you know, everywhere in this country are overwhelmed this year. Yes they are. It's a crazy, crazy time. And I don't know how you notice things about kids that you're seeing on zoom. You're not noticing things<laugh> no, you, so, you know, this year maybe has been a little bit of a wash and it's, it's really been the hardest. I think for the kids that have special education needs, I've heard it both ways. I've heard it from teachers that they've actually been able to, um, reach out to their students a little bit more through zoom, because if they actually get to get a glimpse into their home life a little bit more and get a little bit of an understanding of how organized appearance are, what kinda chaos is going on in the home, right? Whether or not they're able to have a time with them on zoom or not tells you a lot about what goes on at home. Then the other thing is a lot of parents are so used to us leaving all the education up to the teachers that once it fell into their lap, they started to notice where their kids were falling down. And, um, they were able to get together with their teachers, um, bounce notes off of each other, and then address some needs that weren't being addressed before. So there's a, probably a good and bad side to everything, right? I, I am fine that, uh, uh, an equal amount of both, when I talk to parents, we're in a, a good situation in our school district where they recognized early on with my grandsons who are autistic and have, um, global learning disabilities that kids with special needs needed to be back in school. And most of their classrooms are small and, uh, the already, so they went ahead and put them back in the classroom, socially, distanced them and had them wear masks. And they, so they've been in school the whole year and they haven't missed anything but other school districts where the special needs kids didn't have that it's been tough on them and the parents. Um, and my hats go off to any parents. Who've held its together for sure, for a solid year now. And in your experience also, I wanna go back to the experience as an attorney. Is there anything that you would recommend to a parents to keep an eye out for, with your child that would tell them that your child is acting out on something they're not talking about? In some ways I, I think a lot of it, I don't know. It's interesting. I was gonna say, I think a lot of it is also being aware of who your kid is hanging out with. Yes. Who your kid is spending time with, because that can say a lot, not only it, it can say a lot about their self-esteem, to be honest. Mm-hmm<affirmative>, I mean, if you see that your child is hanging out with kids that you don't feel are, are up to his or her level or, or, you know, are, are exhibiting the same kinds of values. Mm-hmm<affirmative> what is that about? You know, why, why, why, what is that saying about your child right now? And I guess also some of it is just noticing, trying to notice changes, you know, if your child is, is one way for a long time and very successfully navigating things and, you know, getting good reports and you know, and then all of a sudden there's some kind of dip. Um, you know, I, I think it's mostly a matter of keeping your eyes open and, and not, not assuming that everything is okay because you know, it may not be terrible. It may be basically fine.<laugh> yeah. But, but if you keep your eyes open, you may notice the little things that are, that are not going so well. And I call it too. You sometimes you have to get the plunger out and you have to, you have to unclog of the drain to get the information out of them. I mean, you can't assume that that it's just gonna flow good all the time. You sometimes have to<laugh> right. And cause they're not gonna open up. So, um, just be aggressive sometimes when you feel like something's not proper, something's not good. I mean, you know, your child, or you should know your child better than anybody in the world. And, and like you said, if they're mannerisms or their behaviors or their friends change, um, abruptly, then you, you must know that there's something going on there. And, um, the way I do it with my boys is I put them to bed every night. They're 12 and 14 years old. And I sit there in the bed with them and they just unload and tell me everything. And, um, the bedtime is safe zone. They can tell me anything and not, not get in trouble. Um, the truth always wind, even if the truth could get them in trouble. I tell them, if you tell me the truth and it comes all out right now, we'll just work on it together and, and we'll be okay. And, um, I have found on that, they've opened up and tell, told me so many things that I probably wouldn't know, but that hour of bedtime is the most important time in the world for us. We don't always get together for a traditional dinner. I mean, when probably you were like me, when we were growing up, maybe we had things come out during the dinner time, around the table for, um, while we were trying to slow our spaghetti or eat our taco,<laugh> California people. We've got our tacos, but, uh, that's when generally we talked about things, but I'm, um, I'm very excited about the book. If you could give us the title again and where we might be able to purchase that and any other information regarding how to get in touch with you, that would be amazing. Sure. So the book is called, my name is Layla mm-hmm,<affirmative> L a Y L a Layla. And, uh, you can find it on Amazon, it's in paperback or e-book. Um, and if you have a local bookstore, they can order it for you. It's not, it's not gonna be in every local bookstore, but if you go in and ask for it, they'll get it for you. Um, and you can find that more about my books at, uh, my website is Rena Marder genten.com. I don't know. I don't wanna spell out a whole thing for you, but, um, but if you look up, my name is Layla, you'll find it. So my name is Layla and you can order it and, and it said Rena Marder genten.com. Yep. Okay. All right. Well, Rena, I am so appreciative of having you take your time out of your busy schedule to come and talk. And, um, I know that there's parents and guardians and caregivers out there that will get a lot of good information about what you've talked about. And I, I expect that they should go out. Now, I'm telling you, you go out and support this nice lady and you buy her book. You hear me put it, you can, you can put aside having a cup of coffee for a couple days and you go buy her book and support this nice lady and what she's trying to do, and the information that she's trying to share with people who need to, to hear it. So, um, if I could ask you one thing, re uh, what, where would you like to see yourself in one year, and then when you're old and you're sitting on the porch and you're looking back on your life, what would you like to be able to think? I did that? I did it. Wow. Um, you know, I think writing these books has been pretty amazing for me. I kind of feel like I've, I've hit my eye, did it moment, but I hope that, um, you know, I would like to make use of our upcoming time together. My husband and I, our children are grown now, and I hope that we can travel and just enjoy life a little bit. Just be a couple, just be a, that is like the best thing in the world. I don't think I'll ever get to do that with my husband. We've been married for 40, 43 going on 44 years now. And we're raising our grandsons now. So we'll be doing that for a little while, but that's okay too. We'll just take trips with them.<laugh> sounds good. Well, listen, thank you so much. And, um, I appreciate you taking your time outta your busy schedule to be here. And I encourage everybody to go to Reed, Martin GenOn Mar getten.com and look her up and go either go to a local bookstore and look up for book, which is Paul. My name is Layla. There you go. Or order it online. Okay. Anyway, Amazon like the go-to place.<laugh> anyway, thank you so much. And, uh, again, thank you for being here. This is Debbie Wells with special family connection, and you all have a wonderful day and go by the go buy it. That's what this is all about. Buy in the book, have a good day. Okay.
Speaker 2:This is Debbie Wells with special family connection, and I am so glad you made my podcast part of your day. Please feel free to visit us@specialfamilyconnection.com, where you will find more news information and past episodes of my podcast. Special family connection podcast episodes are available on all major distribution labels. If you would like to help us out with the financial contribution, please look for the link on my homepage@specialfamilyconnection.com.